If I were a rabbit

     Hello world, this is Angry Tofu speaking. I was just listening to and watching the music video for "Rabbit Heart" by Florence + The Machine, and it got me thinking. What would I do if I were a rabbit for a day? Is there a way I could use those adorable ears and sharp little teeth to aid in my quest for world domination? I think the answer is yes. So here is a quick brainstorm of my agenda in my "Day of
Rabbit Transformation".

1. 3 AM: Wake up and eat some grass. See if I could digest it (they always say humans don't have the right digestive system for grass, so I'll eat some now that the opportunity has arisen).
2. 3:15 AM: Go back to sleep.
3. 3:30: Wake up again. Rabbits are too hyper for sleeping. 
4. 4:00 AM: Consort with my beaver friends in an attempt to gnaw a tree in half.
5. 6:00 AM (the tree gnawing took longer than we thought): Find a stressed out rabbit-mom who wants to lend me a few hundred of her 2,167 children.
6. 6:30-8:00 AM: Train rabbit children in martial arts.
7. 9:00 AM: Head to nearest bank.
8. 9:15 AM: Lead rabbit army in surprise ambush of bank, steal money.
9. 9:21 AM: Take off with rabbit army and cash.
10. 10:00 AM: Drop little rabbits off at home. Rabbit-mom pays me for babysitting.
11. 10:30 AM: Stop at park for a grass snack. Find that I prefer the taste of slightly dried wheat.
12. 11:00 AM: While reading newspaper I notice an article about Playboy. I become offended at the racism of the trademark bunny outfit.
13. 11:15 AM- 1:00 PM: Make my way to the Playboy Mansion by latching onto various cars with my teeth.
14. 1:30 PM: Arrive at playboy mansion.
15. 1:36 PM: Set mansion on fire.
16. 1:45 PM- 3:30 PM: Make my way home.
17. 4:00 PM: Go to sleep in the comfort of my newly-acquired rabbit-mansion.