Top Ten Things to do When You Don't Have a Phone

         Hello all, this is Angry Tofu speaking. Today I want to address a terrible problem that affects millions of people every day. This problem is lack of a phone. Maybe you dropped it in the swimming pool, lost the charger or even let a truck run over it (yes, this has actually happened), but either way you are left without apps, texting, Facebook, or any of the other fun stuffs that help you conquer the evil force of boredom. Fortunately there are things you can do without a phone that can help pass the time, and may even be fun. So, without further ado, here is my Top Ten Things to do When You Don't Have a Phone:

1. Start planning for NaNoWriMo. This is definitely the thing I spend most of my free time doing, seeing as it is August already and I need to prepare! For those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it stands for "National Novel Writing Month". This is an event that takes place from November 1st to November 30th, where participants have 30 days to write a 50,000 word novel.  It is a lot of work, no doubt about it. But, speaking from someone who has done it, it is probably one of the best experiences I have ever had. Ever.
Here is a link to the website: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

2. Watch bad TV. Truly awful television is one of the best things the technological age has to offer. You don't have to gather any deep meaning from the plot or empathize with the characters, all you have to do is sit and laugh. And occasionally you may yell at the TV, when a gaping plot hole appears. Some good examples of bad TV are: Charmed, Burn Notice (some of the worst acting I have ever seen :D), and any soap operas. Really, anywhere you look there is joy to be found!

3. Take an old magazine or catalog and draw all over it. This one is pretty much open to interpretation. You can do as little as drawing mustaches on the most attractive models to creating a full-scale reinterpretation of an advertisement.
Tip: Using an eraser you can remove the ink on part of a page and re-draw whatever was there before, or your own interpretation of it :P
Tip: Makeup ads = gold mines when you want to draw on a model's face.

4. Read a classic book. Okay, there is a reason that most people will want to skip over this one. A lot of people (including me) cringe when someone hands them a heavy, stuffy-looking book that they "absolutely must read" because it's "still relevant even after two-hundred blah blah blah years". To be honest, most pieces of classic literature are hard to get through. The language is melodramatic and the characters all seem to have the same name. However, I have found a few books that I think are actually a lot of fun to read despite the effort that it might take to get through them. Some of them are: The Odyssey, Crime and Punishment, and Pride and Prejudice.

5. Read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Just do it.

6. Go on Photoshop (or any program you have that lets you edit photos) and make embarrassing edits to pictures of your friends. Then send the photos to them by e-mail or Facebook. Mwahahahaha,

7. Go to an art supply store and run around. If you are anything like me, you will find art stores addictive. Even if you aren't into artsy-fartsy things there is SO MUCH PRETTINESS. Pretty papers, pretty pencils, pretty paints, and pretty nose piercings on all the employees. Art stores are the absolute, 100% effective cure for boredom, hands down. Beware, however that if you start deciding to buy all the pretty things in the store you are sure to run up quite a price tag.

8. Research Ukrainian deodorant. I'm really not sure what would happen if you did this.

9. Find a fandom of some sort (Sherlock, Dr. Who, Naruto), and go onto one of their forums. Just read through the comments and laugh. If you are really in the mood, go on and post some comments like you have no idea what their obsession is. It will make them extremely angry, and the more angry they are the funnier it gets. To be fair, however, some of those TV shows and things that people get all crazy over are actually pretty good. So you could try watching one too.

10. Buy a bunch of different kinds of macaroni and cheese and have a giant taste-test. This is best completed with a horde of hungry friends. Root beer can also be used instead of macaroni.